Trust my heart... someday

You open yourself up again and again wanting to believe in people. My father tells me not to let people in so soon...? How do I not let people in? I am real, I am a mess and yes I am broken. So is he telling me to not show people who I really am so soon. To hide who I really am... Amber just smile. Smile and Relax, Have fun, don't take things too seriously. I am 32 years old I am not changing any time soon. Look I have a to to offer to a friend, to a stranger, to a company, to a family and to a partner. So I am not going to waste my time being someone I am not. I am going to go into everything with my heart wide open... knowing good and well I most likely will be crying shortly after. I love hard. And with that I break easily. Someone once loved this girl just the way she is... but it was to late. Oh wait it wasn't just one man, it has been many. They realize the amazing heart that once loved them unconditionally... but too little too late. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I love so hard knowing I am going to be disappointed... Look I am not pessimistic, I am just a realist. I have a beautiful face and an alluring persona... but there is so much more behind the beauty that leaves me in solitude. One day someone will see me for me... some who loves with all of her heart and appreciate the packaging for a bonus.